Don't Be Apathetic

It’s a big deal to look in the mirror and be able to say “I have found my passion.” But passion is a loaded term,  and isn't something you can set out to find. You're just living your life, doing your thing, when you realize all of a sudden that this thing you're  doing and the people you're working with are what you've been unknowingly looking for. 

For me, it was earlier this year in February, during the second week I was managing a band. By then I’d been dabbling in many sorts of artist development for about seven months. I knew blogging was fun, I knew working directly with artists was fascinating, and I knew I loved it all. But during that week in February, I found myself incredibly excited about nothing specific — there was just pure excitement. Excitement that was slowly turning into adrenaline as my booking requests were coming back positive. So much adrenaline, that my heartbeats almost made it hurt to breathe and I felt like I needed a quick yoga break. I was confused. Why was my heart beating so fast? Was this stress? What was there to stress about? Or was it just adrenaline that was fooling me because my heart was beating too fast? Then I got it. Maybe this was what it felt like to be passionate about something?

Passion. An excitement for what’s to come, but an extreme dedication to what is now. Every second is thrilling.

I soon realized too that there’s not enough of it around me.

I fully understand it’s not easy (or smart, sometimes) to commit to your instincts. I’m not applying to full-time jobs for the immediate post-grad life because of it. I’m trying to leave the country for a bit because of it. I’m leaving myself plan-less because of it. And I fully understand some can’t deal with that instability.

But passion is a loaded term, so I'm not even really talking about that.

What are you interested in? How do you spend your free time doing or thinking about? What are your hobbies? Do you like reading? Do you like cooking? Puzzle-making? Knitting? Running? Programming? Issues regarding environmental conservation?  

Or do you spend your time in front of your 13-inch screen, simply thinking about what you could be doing instead? Spend your time complaining about school, your job, or whatever other responsibility you may have? I used to do that all the time freshman year. I’d devote hours to Pinterest and Tumblr, I’d complain about school and how LA sucks without a car, I’d think about wanting to produce videos while I sat yet again in front of my laptop, and how I wanted to move to Australia. I even printed out my application to transfer out to Australia.

Then I woke up one morning and decided it was time to grow a pair. Or whatever the female version of that expression may be.

I got my 50mm lens and began shooting people with my camera. I left my dorm room and started making friends, building relationships, learning, and exploring. Photography led me to musicians who led me to music who led me here. It’s much cooler out here than it was inside my air-conditioned dorm room (pun intended).

I’m not saying go out and try to find your passion. I’m not sure that’s how it works.

I am saying get off the couch and stop reading this article. Make every second count for something. Make every move worthwhile. Find something worth your time, and then make it yours. Care about it, put time into it, and find others who do too. Surround yourself by these people who inspire you to go above and beyond. Invest a bit of your self into this something, and make it yours. You’ll finally know it’s yours when you want to share it with the world. When it’s too big for your sanity to handle and all you want to do is talk to people about it. And hope they’ve found their something to gush about, too