Guards down, Eyes peeled:: Put Yourself Out There

Put yourself out there.
I’d been hearing this for months. They kept saying it like I was supposed to obviously get what it means. Like somehow those four words were supposed to solve all my problems. So I kept nodding, pretending I was on the same page, knowing I wasn't, and totally underestimating how mind-blowing these words could actually be.

See I consider myself a pretty outgoing person. I run a music blog, I’m always out at shows, I’m always putting on shows; meeting people, socializing and creating connections are what my adrenaline runs on. So, aren’t I putting myself out there in the world already?  What am I doing wrong?

Put yourself out there. It's the best advice I've gotten this year. 
Something’s clicked in the past month (…after repeating it over and over in my head, talking about it over and over with friends, pondering on it over and over on bus rides) and I’ve realized just how wrong I was.
It was never about what I was doing wrong, it was about what I wasn’t doing. 

Putting yourself out there is like saying ‘ Hey World, here’s my heart. Take it or leave it.” So naturally it’s hard, because what if the world decides to leave it?  What if you decide to be vulnerable and put your heart on the table only to be rejected? You know, I’m pretty sure you’ll survive. The alternative? Keeping yourself locked in behind whatever walls you’ve built. It’s safer, it’s easier, much more comfortable for sure, but isn’t it getting lonely in there?  Wishing you could be out there, doing all these things and being all these people…

Sure, I’ve been putting Beating Lights and my other creative works out there, and they’ve been doing so well for themselves.. But there's still so much missing. I feel like I can do more, feel more, connect more, be more, if I just stop overthinking it, and start seeking it. 

It’s not easy, and I’m still working on it.  But taking on the day with this new angle is so much more of an exciting life to be living. I bought a pair of drum sticks because I’ve been wanting to learn for years, I’ve started performing at open mics in front of more people than I’m used to, I’m trying new things and taking in anything that I stumble on for the simple sake of letting more life in. Because why not? 

Guards down, eyes peeled.
Anything can happen, and I’m going to let it. 

At least that’s the plan. Keep you posted.