I'm not creative enough: 2016 musings.


In 2015 I realized I’m not as creative as I want to be, so in 2016 I decided to change that. Beating Lights was not enough, neither was my photography. So over the course of this year I started making visual projections for band’s shows,I hopped on board Women Fuck Shit Up Fest as their in house art director (fancy term for graphic designer at the moment), I started booking tours for bands, I bought a button maker and started pressing buttons, and I gave my own music  some time and started my own band. 


“Stick  to what you’re good at”, is a piece of advice I received many times over the course of the summer. I understand where they’re coming from, I do.I see their business-minded souls wanting to put Beating Lights onto a sheet of paper and plugged into a business plan. At the beginning of the year, I thought that’s what I wanted. I thought I needed to turn BL into a business. People kept (and keep) asking how I make money off Beating Lights, and I felt like I needed an answer. But alas, 12 months later and now that I can look at this year in its entirety, I have found some (not all) of those answers. I don’t do what I do in the hopes of paying rent off this; I do it because I love it, because I have so much stupid fun working with artists and making friends and throwing parties. Call me crazy, but what if i just love doing all of this and giving it all my energy… just because I love doing it? What if this is just the kind of person I am? You and I can operate differently and that’s the best part of humanity! 
Stick to what you’re good at? That might work for a business plan, and we need business plans I guess sometimes I think. But that’s not what I’m creating here. I simply love creating things out of thin air and throwing paint onto walls and mixing colors until I get the ones I’ve never seen before. If I make some money in the process? Well that’s going to go straight back into my creativity for now. How about, find the things you love doing… and keep doing them?


I’ve found a lot of new creativities this year that I love doing. I love doing them all, and I’ll keep doing them all. I’m not doing them all %100 of the time, of course not Yesterday I went over to a friend’s house where he taught me about guitar pedals and amps. In that moment I was giving 100% to Blushh. Later I met another friend for coffee where we talked about booking tours and promoting shows; i was giving 100% to Beating Lights. Then finally I ended my day running a projector with the visuals I had created for a band's show. In that moment, I was Shab the person who makes art for bands.
So you see? I don’t think it’s hard to do different things. There always must be a creative balance, but the amount of creativity can grow to infinity. 
I think I want to start writing poems and monologues next, is that ok?