church, christmas markets and strudel.

I went to church with my host mom on sunday morning. 

1. it was all in italian (yes captain obvious)

2. I’ve never been to church..

3. I’ve never even been to mosque…

I’m not religious, and I’m pretty sure I never will be, but i still like learning new things, and talking to Ruth and Julia about both intervarsity and campus crusades just got me even more interested in hearing people’s stories. So i went to church. 

I was as lost as I’ve been at Iranian weddings when the Imam reads from the Coran and everyone says that little prayer after every verse or so and I just sit there straining my ears really hard trying to figure out what they’re all saying (in arabic i presume?).

It was a nice sunday morning:)

Also. The christmas markets have opened and they’re the cutest things ever. I know where I’m spending every single day for the next 2 weeks! 

which brings me to.

I had a minor panic attack yesterday. At some point after I bought my strudel from a ridiculously attractive young italian  man, it me HARD that I was leaving in only 17 days. I started tearing up and if I’d had any less control, I would have been sobbing all the way home. 

The thing is, its no longer “bittersweet”. its extremely bitter, and cynical, and unfair.

I’ve realized how much my french school education and my summers in iran have affected me, and I’m just not feeling America right now (hardcore not feeling it), and I don’t want to leave.

I’ll be back. The second I graduate? I really don’t like thinking about the future, and I’ve been doing it a lot lately, but I’m going to leave my future planning with one last thought: I’m moving to europe and that’s that.

When, how, what… i’ll figure that out when the time comes.

For now. I’m going to eat myself silly out of italian food, take pictures of trees, and try really really hard not to cry. and keep my cynicism to myself.

That’s all for now kiddos.

Mi manchete, ma mi mancera l’italia piu :/

ps: I’m scared to death of losing my italian language… solution: find some italian friends because there have GOT to be some international students studying at SC right? RIGHT??