Identity Crisis

It’s awfully weird.

I eat a tangerine and I think “Hm, I remember eating these in Italy”

I drink some tea and I think “This is much better than the teabags in Italy”

I eat some rice and I think “I eat as much rice in Iran that I ate pasta in Italy”

I consider drinking some coffee and I think “NO. DONT. Italy’s is better” then when i  do end up drinking it I think “Well. yup. Italy’s was better”

It all goes back to Italy…


But I’m in iran. And thank goodness I’m not speaking English and surrounded by America, or else ItalySickness would be the death of me.

I’m reminded why I keep coming back every year. Something hit me the first few days and maybe the summer after I graduate I won’t stay for so long, maybe the usual 6 weeks? Anyhow, I realized reason #1-infinity I come here is to see my family. my desire to see more has somehow vanished, and for now, I don’t feel like making a documentary. lol.

I come here to se my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles because I can and they can’t. However, I’m not so much myself here. In the sense that 1. it’s hard to express my excitement for what I want to do with my life and expect the same excitement back. and 2. I lose my chillness. All of sudden there’s a whole hord of people I need to confer with before I do anything, mostly out of my fear of hurting someone’s feelings… it’s weird. 

So yeah. It hink that’s all the reflecting I’ve been doing.


I can’t stop thinking about Onelise and Mario. It’s been 10 days. I leave for LA in 5 days. school starts in 14.